Pilot Episode: The One With The Cranberries Concert (Part 1)

It was probably a Saturday or Sunday (circa 2004) when it happened.

I was sitting on top of the world, and then I came crashing down…

Okay, that line sounds a bit melodramatic for a storyline that’s more of a sitcom (emphasis on the word COM) than a soap opera.

Basically, this whole thing started with my DIY mode (I blame it on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy marathons) and my penchant for louder-than-life music when I work. Throw in a can of red paint, rollers, a ladder, a touch of stubbornness, and a ton of klutziness (I refuse to use the word stupidity) to complete the set.

The scene starts with me, climbing to the top of the ladder to paint the dining room walls. Mom enters the scene.

Mom: (shouting) Turn the music down. It’s too loud.
Me: I can’t work without music. Turn it up again. (stereo playing The Cranberries’ Zombie in all its head bang glory in the background)

Pan to me, painting away, sitting (I thought I was) atop the highest rung of the ladder.

Cut to scene- Me, sitting on air, falling down (in what felt like slow motion into a tiled abyss), life flashing before me (seriously!), and finally landing on my back behind a waist-high cabinet.

Me: (shouting) I FELL! HELP, HELP!
Dolores O’Riordan: (shouting) Zombie, Zombie, hey, hey, hey, hey…

Obviously, nobody heard my cry for help or saw me sprawled behind the cabinet.

I had lain behind the cabinet for what felt like hours (it was probably just a few minutes), thinking I was going to be paralyzed for life. Evidently, I wasn’t. (As per my dad, "Can you move your toes? Yes? Then you're fine." Then heartlessly walks away. Heartlessly. I'm really giving Juday or Claudine a run for their teleserye money here.)

So, to cut the story short, in those few minutes of life flashing and soul searching, I’ve realized a couple of things:

1. Life (may be) short. Document.
2. Life is too funny (in retrospect!). Document.
3. Life has moral lessons. Learn from stupidity. Document.
4. Things happen. Live it up. Document.
5. And last but not the least, X-ray bills aside, DIY is cheaper (and more fun) than hiring pros. There are HowTo's and How NOT To's. Document.

(Here's hoping that documenting will also push me to pick up my pace...)

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